Admiral Benson’s Best Quotes

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Hot Shots! was released in 1991, hilariously spoofing Top Gun (and a host of other movies) with Charlie Sheen playing the Maverick-esque lead of Topper Harley, a former pilot who returns to the Navy for a special mission.

The paper-thin plot is carried by relentless gags and one-liners that make Hot Shots! one of the funniest parody movies ever made.

While the jokes come thick and fast, the best lines seem to be reserved for the bumbling Admiral Benson, played by the late Loyd Bridges. The material is great, but it is the delivery by Bridges that transforms the Admiral from a comedic peripheral character to the funniest part of the movie.

While you really need to watch the movie to fully enjoy the incompetent hilarity of Admiral Benson, here are some of his funniest quotes from the film:

Commander Block: How are you, sir?

Admiral Benson: Hawaii? I’m in Hawaii? Goddammit man, I’m supposed to be in California.

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Benson: Many of you are probably wondering about my pants. Well, they started to run short of material before they got to the knee, so don’t give me any shit, ok?

Benson: (On board an aircraft carrier at sea. The wind blows the Admiral’s cap off his head and overboard.) My cap blew off! Swing her ‘round and we’ll pick it up.

Benson: My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.

Benson: The morale in this base is shot to hell. (Looks at a painting on the wall, mistaking it for a window overlooking a naval airfield.) I mean, look out there, hardly a man moving. (Leans in closer to the painting.) Roy? Roy! Ah, you see that? I even went to school with that man, he’s been ignoring me all week.

Benson: I’ve personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every one. Come to think of it, I’ve never landed a plane in my life.

Benson: Pete “Dead Meat” Thompson is dead. So is Moe Green, Tattaglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families.

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Benson: Our assignment is to knock out the nuclear-weapons plant here at Falafel Heights. The plant goes on line in 12 hours and is heavily defended. Now, if you have trouble hitting your objective, your secondary targets are here and here: an accordion factory and a mime school.

Benson: Gentlemen, we’ve waited a long time to hear this. In exactly 5 hours and 17 minutes we hit the enemy toast.
Block: I think that’s enemy coast, sir.
Benson: Huh? Coast? Well, it’ll take a little more planning but it doesn’t matter.

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Did we miss any of your favourite Admiral Benson quotes? Let us know below.

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