Let’s face it, sooner or later the world is going to crap itself (yeah, even worse than it has already!) and humanity will descend to the level of savage barbarity that always lurks just under the surface of our civilisation. When that happens, you’ll need the right vehicle to survive or else you’ll be toast.
As we currently work through the Delta strain of coronavirus, let’s look ahead to the Zulu strain which will no doubt usher in the zombie apocalypse (there’s no science behind that statement, but let’s roll with it anyway) and leave many of us in a dire fight for survival against the surprisingly determined undead.
Mobility is key to survival, so here’s 5 cars that could help you outlast and outrun the hordes of brain-eaters in your future.
While the military Hummer has been replaced with safer and more robust modern alternatives, the original car is more obtainable and affordable to the average citizen. Armoured versions are hard to find, but the offroad ability and reliability of these cars make them a solid option for most types of terrain.
Big and wide (the car was designed to run in the tracks left behind by army tanks), there’s plenty of space to bring your loved ones. Just don’t expect comfort: the Humvee is pretty basic.
Some versions hit the second-hand market with their gun turret still installed but decommissioned, which essentially just means the gun has been removed. BYO machine gun and you’re ready to turn zombies to pulp. We recommend a .50 cal.
For many, the best strategy for survival is to head for remote country far from the cities. There are few cars as robust and well-equipped for remote travel as the Landcruiser. Spacious, powerful, reliable and capable, the big Toyota 4×4 ticks all the boxes.
The well-prepared apocalypse survivor will find a vast range of options made specifically for Landcruisers to ensure you can keep moving in the toughest terrain to keep the undead off your tail. While many popular four-wheel-drive vehicles now can be fitted with a seemingly endless variety of aftermarket accessories designed for off-grid travel, perhaps only the Jeep Wrangler can rival the big Toyota for the amount of available options made to suit specific models.
The size of the market allows you to source everything you need within your budget. You’ll want a bullbar and a snorkel, a secondary battery system and a fridge and long range tanks as a bare minimum for a zombie apocalypse. Mounting places for as many jerry cans as possible is a good idea, because fuel will quickly become hard to source. UHF radio, quick and comfortable camping gear and a range of weapons that can be used both inside and outside the vehicle should also be on your list.
You’ll need a reliable vehicle with the space and capability to carry all this and the big Toyota is hard to beat.
Also consider: Jeep Wrangler, Nissan Patrol. Both have extensive aftermarket options to suit.
It may seem odd that one the most rugged and unrefined vehicles in the world is made by Mercedes-Benz, but the Unimog is a simple, old-school truck with epic offroad ability.
Available in a range of configurations and damn near unstoppable, the extra-high seating position offers additional safety from hordes of zombies and gives great visibility over the carnage happening beneath your wheels as you steamroll through the marauding undead.
A low top-speed is the only real downfall to the Unimog, but it offers a great platform for kitting out the ultimate zombie-crusher.
Depending on your taste the Cybertruck is either awesomely futuristic or ugly AF, but an electric pickup is a great idea for a zombie apocalypse.
Should the situation drag on, fuel will become first sparse and eventually unobtainable, rendering every other vehicle in this list useless.
However, with access to grid or solar power you should be able to keep the Cybertruck running indefinitely, providing you can find the lengthy periods of quiet safety to recharge the vehicle.
Big and chunky, the Cybertruck offers a platform for various weapons and defences. However, that sharp nose might be enough to cut down the undead in their tracks.
XB Falcon Coupe
Is there a more iconic vehicle from a cinematic depiction of the end of the world than the Interceptor from Mad Max?
Sure, it’s terribly thirsty on fuel, impractical for more than two people on the run from zombies and handles far worse than a modern vehicle, but if you’re going to face an apocalypse you might as well ride in true badass style.
It’s old-school muscle on steroids and just looks tough. The sound of the “last of the V8’s” might be enough to scare the undead away, but if not there’s enough ponies under your right foot to leave any hordes far behind in your dust.
You’ll be the baddest lone-wolf battling wave after wave of zombies, and that’s gotta count for something.